This Week

This past week has been long, so very long. But full of lots of joy at the same time. I have seen lots of little blessings over and over again and I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for letting me see them and comforting me again and again and letting me know he is aware of me.

I wanted us all to stay really busy this week and have lots of fun so that I could keep my mind off something that has caused me a lot of stress, anxiety, heart ache, and of course as a mom, a lot of worrying. (I will write more about this later on in this post).

So I have completely enjoyed my awesome kids this week.

I took them to the apple orchard again and soaked in the beautiful, warm weather.
Seriously, I am in love with the Iowa fall.

We came home and made one of my favorite things: caramel apples.

So good!!

We have played outside a lot and we have caught lots of bugs and frogs this week. My girls can't get enough. They have been so funny with bugs. They loved them when they were little but then went through a stage where they were scared to death of them. I think this is because they watched my reaction around bugs. When they finally got over that and realized their mom was a wimp, they fell in love with bugs again.

This week we caught a caterpillar and we were so excited to keep it and watch it's process of becoming a butterfly. But it died a couple days later, I think it is because Katelyn and Kylie played with it too much. They have caught lots of grasshoppers and crickets, will keep them as a pet and play with them until they die or until I make them take them back outside.

When I say we (well the girls) caught a lot of frogs, I mean like 12!! I let them keep them in a container for a day before I finally persuaded them to bring them back by telling them that the frogs probably missed their families.

Me, Katelyn, and Kylie had a fun girls night and went to the movie theater to watch Dolphin Tale. It was such a cute, good movie. We all loved it.

We also had fun making and decorating Halloween cookies this week.


Saturday was the best day.
Mostly because Troy was able to be with us.
We went out to Denny's for breakfast, ate a ton of food, and then headed to Omaha to go to the zoo. It is amazing and even if you spend 6 hours there you still wont see everything.
The Omaha Zoo is one of Katelyn and Kylie's favorite places ever.

We have discovered that Mason may not be as obsessed with animals as his sisters are.
This is what he did after the gorilla turned and looked at him. He did the same thing when we got him too close to the lions. We thought it was hilarious. So of course, we had to do it a couple of times to see his reactions.

Mason wasn't too interested in all the animals and was definitely more interested in the airplanes flying over head, the zoo train, and the big trucks on the drive to and from Omaha.


This week we were also able to see our precious little baby with an ultrasound and the ultrasound tech. told us that she was 100% sure it was a BOY! We could tell as well, he wanted us to know that for sure he was a boy.

I am so glad that Troy was there with me and that we were able to witness together this sweet little guys spirit. His profile pictures showed us just how much he looks like his brother and sisters. I loved seeing and counting all of his fingers and toes and seeing his hands open and close. He also kept putting his hands up behind his head, by his face, and in his mouth.
I also know why I have to go to the bathroom a millions times in a day. He is using my bladder as a trampoline. His feet are resting right on it.

This little boy is also the cause of all my worrying this week.
He was measuring small and 3 weeks behind on growth. If he had been my first baby I would think it was just because I am small, but my other babies were always right on track with growth, even my twins. Also my amniotic fluid was low which could mean that there is a placenta problem. And at the ultrasound I had when I was 14 weeks, his growth was right where it should be.

The doctor was pretty concerned about it and I now have an appointment tomorrow at a high risk center to have more ultrasounds and some tests done. And I am scared.

I love this little baby, our son. I love him so much. I love him like I love Mason, Katelyn, and Kylie. And to know that something is not right is really heart breaking for me. I want to fix it, just like when something is wrong with my other kids I do my best to make it better. But this week I have felt so helpless, not knowing what to do or how to make it better, or even what is really wrong.

During the day I stay busy, but night has been hard. All the kids are sleeping and I have way to much time to think and worry. I feel him moving a lot at night too, which is a constant reminder. I am also very aware that I am not as big at this point as I was when I was pregnant with Mason.

Like I said at the beginning of this post I have been very blessed this week with comfort. I am so grateful for Troy and his strength. That he can hold me and that we can cry together. I am thankful for the priesthood and that Troy can give me blessings.
I have amazing kids that are examples to me. Before bed we always sit down and read scriptures and say a prayer. Sometimes I am so tired I just lay the kids down, ready to skip the scriptures but they always remind me if we have not read them yet or haven't said a prayer yet.
I gave Mason his breakfast this morning and then we were all busy doing our own thing getting ready for church, but I looked over and Mason was folding his arms, ready to say a prayer for his breakfast. I love them so much.

And because of them, Troy, and my Heavenly Father, I will get through tomorrow.
Please keep us in your prayers!